Jokes (:

[TradeMark99]

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KIDS
My nine-year-old son, Kyle, kept asking me more and more questions about where babies come from until we found ourselves having a detailed, in-depth discussion. His older sister passed by and asked, "What are you guys talking about?"
"Mum's telling me way more than I need to know about sex," Kyle replied.
Kris Mohl

KIDS
My five-year-old, Katie, asked what I did at work. I explained that part of my job in the research lab was experimenting with mice and rats. Weeks later, at a school function, Katie's teacher expressed interest in my job. ''The children were describing where their parents work, '' she chuckled, ''and Katie told us that her mum works for rats.''
Elizabeth Hajen

LIFE IS LIKE THAT
Just before I was to have an annual physical examination, my doctor handed me an examining gown. ''I can never remember with these things,'' I commented. ''Does the opening go in the front or the back?''
He shrugged. ''It doesn't matter. You can't win either way.''
Kathryn Folsom

KIDS
On a sleepover, my five-year-old granddaughter and I were doing our bedtime routine. We were about to leave the bathroom when she noticed something amiss. ''Nana, '' she said, ''aren't you going to put your teeth to bed?''
Mardi Maclachlan

LAUGHTER
He had been trying to get his waiter's attention for ages. Finally, the angry customer grew tired of waiting. He stood up and shouted out, "I need more tea!"
Annoyed, the waiter came over. "You don't have to yell. I'm not deaf," he scolded.
"Sorry," the man said. "That was rude of me."
"It's OK," the waiter said. "Now what do you want in your coffee?"
Lea Higgins

LIFE IS LIKE THAT
My parents had one of those old-time rotary telephones. This drove my brother crazy. Once, he misdialled a long-distance number and had to do it all over again.
''Mum,'' he asked in frustration, ''why don't you replace this thing with a touch-tone phone?''
''If we did,'' my mother said, ''your father would never get any exercise.''
Debra Copeland


LAUGHTER
What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you.


LIFE IS LIKE THAT
Paul, my former boss, has a lot of kids -- nine to be exact. Flying to a business meeting, he was chatting with his seatmate about family and was surprised to hear the man say, "I wish I had nine kids."
"You don't really know what you're wishing for," Paul cautioned.
"Yes, I do," came the reply. "I have thirteen."
Robert Beatty

LAUGHTER
"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife.
"What, honey?" she asks.
"The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one."
The wife replies, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis in number 23."

LIFE IS LIKE THAT
The DVD player was broken and we weren't going to be able to watch the movie we'd rented. Then my husband had a brilliant idea: "Why don't we use the PlayStation?"
We pushed all the buttons, but couldn't get it to work, so we gave up and went upstairs.
We were reading in bed when our 17-year-old son appeared in our doorway. "Someone left a DVD in my PlayStation," he said.
"We were trying to watch a movie on it," my husband admitted, "but we couldn't get past the parental control screen."
"What a shame," our son said as he smiled and closed the door.

Connie Ames


KIDS
Not long ago my three-year-old son, Christopher, and I were on a flight. As he passed through security, the metal button on his pants set off the alarm. I explained that he had to let the guard check him with the wand.
The guard was holding his arms wide to demonstrate to Chris how he needed to stand when my affectionate son ran into them and gave the guard a big hug.

Deanna Lowe

LIFE IS LIKE THAT
I was going to see the dentist early one morning, but when I pulled up to a parking meter, I realised I didn't have any change. As I got out of my car, I saw a parking attendant heading my way. I called out to him that I was going to get some change for the meter. He said that if the meter wasn't paid by the time he got to it, I would get a ticket.
Quickly running into a nearby coffee shop, I ordered a coffee. The waitress, seeing the note in my hand, asked if I had anything smaller. "No," I said, "I'm sorry, I don't."
"It's your lucky day, then," she said. "We don't have any change, so your coffee is on the house!"

Cindy Cleveland

LAUGHTER
A man is recovering from minor surgery when his nurse comes in to check on him.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"I'm OK," he says, "but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery."
"What did he say?" the nurse asks.
"Oops."

Robert Rea

[Annuh]

LAUGHTER
A man is recovering from minor surgery when his nurse comes in to check on him.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"I'm OK," he says, "but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery."
"What did he say?" the nurse asks.
"Oops."

lols XD

[Saso]

ohhh holy shit bruhahahaha

A man is recovering from minor surgery when his nurse comes in to check on him.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"I'm OK," he says, "but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery."
"What did he say?" the nurse asks.
"Oops."

This one is Great XDDD Hahahah D

[gapoxd]

nice one^^

[skinnydude29]

LIFE IS LIKE THAT
The DVD player was broken and we weren't going to be able to watch the movie we'd rented. Then my husband had a brilliant idea: "Why don't we use the PlayStation?"
We pushed all the buttons, but couldn't get it to work, so we gave up and went upstairs.
We were reading in bed when our 17-year-old son appeared in our doorway. "Someone left a DVD in my PlayStation," he said.
"We were trying to watch a movie on it," my husband admitted, "but we couldn't get past the parental control screen."
"What a shame," our son said as he smiled and closed the door.

rofl.... dumb parents... its pre set to 1234

[lavkoto]

A man is recovering from minor surgery when his nurse comes in to check on him.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"I'm OK," he says, "but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery."
"What did he say?" the nurse asks.
"Oops."

lol...nice one....