Poem. Tell me what you think ^^

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  1. #1
    Free_rebel's Avatar
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    Poem. Tell me what you think ^^

    Those eyes force me to fall down on my knees , completely hypnotized

    Your beauty is like a piece of art , which never dies

    An ancient relic you are, representing something goddess and valuable, that I always keep by my side

    Observing you from a mile away , I new hope within I shall reside deep inside




    When the cold season comes , the flame within my soul slowly fades

    My body shivers my skin becomes pale , my lips turn blue ,

    It's like if I lost my light , taken over by darkness of the cold

    Assumed that I would freeze for eternity , suddenly you appeared looking more precious than gold

    Putting your hand on my heart which was once a block of ice , was warmed by your arms , become so true

    I could feel again , nothing but a sweet and agile sensation inside me, no longer were the memories inside I gray



    Smile to me as you give me life , warm me with your big heart as it's the sun in my solar system



    How can i be that star in the deep space , as your the missing components for me to fuse with , making me glimmer

    Your that comet I long wait to pass by with patience , to observe your radiance flow over the atmosphere

    As soon as those eyes look at me , I feel like a meteor striked my world , making my body shiver



    Gentle flower that you are I'll give you water and my soulful sun

    Nurture you , provide make sure from days to nights you survive , praying one day you'll shine

    I want to sit down hold your hand observer nature , as comes Dawn

    Have you besides me as we lay down , smile , good silence surrounds

    Us who all we need is love , all we might need is maybe each other

    We seem to fall down so low that faith brang us into the same hole

    Made our eyes meet , our hearts perhaps connect making our lives better

    Who know that the future holds

    -Yaz-

  2. #2
    Malish's Avatar
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    Not bad at all, I would hit "enter" insteadof ",". That would make it easyer to read

    But hey that some hours with work ^^
    " [28-09, 00:51] Matt: I use wire brushes on my grill, she likes it."

  3. #3
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    thanx ^^

  4. #4
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    Wow, definitely sounds professional. Do you just write as a hobby? + rep btw.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemicc View Post
    Wow, definitely sounds professional. Do you just write as a hobby? + rep btw.
    Nah I do it within my own spare time , I like to write , sometime it helps me relax

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