[Poem] My Girl

This is a discussion on [Poem] My Girl within the General Chat board part of the General category; Tashi Meric My Girl Feelings seem like they can come and they can go in the flash of an eye ...

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  1. #1
    risker is offline Banned User Array
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    [Poem] My Girl

    Tashi Meric
    My Girl


    Feelings seem like they can come and they can go in the flash of an eye
    but my love for this girl, this girl by the name of Tashi Meric.
    She's my baby, she’s my girl.
    She may not know this
    but she is my world as of now and if I could,
    I'd make her my wife without a second’s contemplation
    I’m her sky and she’s my star, she's the star that I forever hold within my heart.
    My love won't ever change I’m positive of that.
    I'll love her till death do us part
    The exact thing I shall say on our wedding day
    and I'll continue loving her day in and day out.
    I love you baby I really do <3
    I will make this vow with you now that from here on in...
    You will always have my heart and my life because you are my heart and you are my life.




  2. #2
    risker is offline Banned User Array
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    Comments and criticism please btw people

  3. #3
    Geroldo is offline Wannabe Member
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    Nice working.
    Wrote by yourself?

  4. #4
    risker is offline Banned User Array
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    Yea it was.
    I wrote it
    Night before last for my girlfriend ^^

  5. #5
    Danlon's Avatar
    Danlon is offline Mentor
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    I really liked it. ^^

    I wasn't so sure about the line "I'd make her my wife without a second’s contemplation"

    Maybe it's just my personal hate for the word contemplation :/ but I think "I'd make her my wife without hesitation." sounds a bit better.

    great otherwise. ^^

  6. #6
    Lepkokurac's Avatar
    Lepkokurac is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danlon View Post
    I really liked it. ^^

    I wasn't so sure about the line "I'd make her my wife without a second’s contemplation"

    Maybe it's just my personal hate for the word contemplation :/ but I think "I'd make her my wife without hesitation." sounds a bit better.

    great otherwise. ^^
    agree

  7. #7
    risker is offline Banned User Array
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danlon View Post
    I really liked it. ^^

    I wasn't so sure about the line "I'd make her my wife without a second’s contemplation"

    Maybe it's just my personal hate for the word contemplation :/ but I think "I'd make her my wife without hesitation." sounds a bit better.

    great otherwise. ^^
    I got stuck between picking them. xD

  8. #8
    Wynthar's Avatar
    Wynthar is offline Advanced Hacker
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    We should start a new website... SaveRisker.com

    Poor fella.... :-(

  9. #9
    BlameTheGame is offline Premium Member
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    No offense mate, it's very cute n such, but the poem straight out stink, if you can call it a poem

    You might call it a love declaration, show it for her and get laid, but I wouldn't call it for a poem, for art, that is something that can be made up in matter of seconds and produced in a minute or two.

    Cute nonetheless
    Former Global Moderator

  10. #10
    ProblemangBata is offline Newbie
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    im inspired

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