This guide is teaching you how to fly. It isn't fool-proof, meaning YOU CAN DIE! Although that would be funny...it would suck for you. Follow these steps (WITH PICTURES!) and you'll be able to soar the skies with grace and awesomeness!
SUPPLIES! You can't fly by just flapping your arms! You need to have terrific upper body strength, cardboard, feathers, glue, and a cool costume.
Step 1. Make sure you have arms!
Step 2. Apply the supplies in this fashion. Cut the cardboard into 4 pieces. 1 for the top and bottom of both arms. Take the glue and paste the feathers on. Now glue the cardboard pieces to your arms. You should like this when finished.
Step 3. Find a place to descend from. The higher the better. Once found, ascend to the top and stand with you feet planted firmly to the ground. When done right you should be at the edge of the top of the building and feel safe.
Step 4. Now is the time to jump. There's no going back. When you jump, DO NOT FLAP YOUR ARMS WILDLY! A common misconception with flying is that you must flap your arms wildly, rather you should arc them as if you were a bird. When achieved raise your arms as high as possible and lower them down. Keeping this momentum should keep you in the air..if not..SPLAT! Oh well.
Now that you have seen the mystery behind flying..GO! Look for more terrific How-To Guides from me later on!