So I have this stigma where if I spend 1 dollar on a game I feel like I wasted money. Especially with games like WoW and SC2 where I know because of the shit I do, I WILL get banned eventually. So I obtain free cd keys. AND YOU CAN TOO COURTESY OF WALMART
Walk into walmart, make a b-line for the section, do a quick glance see where everyone is and shit, dont make it obvious, even though they all are stupid as fuck, some guy scoping them out is obvious tell-tale sign you're a god damn thief there to steal their valuable profits. So you have the whole place scouted, you did your recon, got your synchronized watch, have the guard schedule of the joint and blue-prints for building layout and possible plan B and C escape routes, and you have a 1 minute window until he is back (by 1 minute i mean 24 hours 7 days a week at walmart) So you approach the aisle. Those mother fuckers went all out, full stanford security laser grid with random paths, temperature monitored floor with dual pressure mounts underneath the floor (ant crawls down that aisle they know) your crew shuts off the power, 30 seconds until generator kicks in. You make your way to the masterpiece, Quickly snatching it off its pressure sensor and replaced a bag of sand you eye balled the weight of on the plate, nothing happens which means it worked. Now that you have the box
I either open box and rip off cd key so that im not rly leaving with their merchandise or super safe way is open box, take pic of cd key (takes my phone far too long to focus and sometimes still blurry so i just rip off cd key) if u take pic, send to email erase off your phone. If you ever get approached tell them ur trying to see which version of the game it is (protip:its not theft unless you leave walmart with their merchandise, so dont leave walmart with their merchandise, hence taking picture or ripping off cd key) I got stopped after i ripped off cd key and i repacked the box the guy asked what i took out of the box i said nothing and handed him the box and walked out. There is a process they have to follow before they can stop/accuse someone of theft. The trick is to be quicker than this process. From the second i rip off the cd key till im walking out the door is less than 40 seconds. It would be very difficult for them to see i was stealing, to inform the proper people i was stealing, to confirm i was stealing, for them to confirm to the right people i was stealing, and for the decision to stop me was made. And at the end of that good luck finding the piece of paper i ripped off (i but it inside a slot of my phone case). Ive never paid for any of my 5 wow accounts (4 cd keys per each), my rift accounts, the 10 plus wow accounts ive sold, or the 7 sc2 cd keys ive taken in total. Paying for games is for chumps. So once you get that cd key make a full blown sprint for the door, im talking about record setting sprint, plow everyone over in your path, someone tries stopping you, SCREAM THAT WITH THORS ALMIGHTY HAMMER NOTHING CAN STOP YOU quickly punching them in the jugular, the collapse into a withering mass, a near by woman strips her clothes off and pleads you to take her right there, on the floor between conveniently price jeans (10 dollars a pair!? WHAT A DEAL) and the discount bundles of boxers (6 for 20 bucks? ill take a dozen) so you take her right there, twice. The elite squadron of ex-navy seals turned mercenary now have you surrounded. You took the babe in the eyes, tell her "I hate the sound of the word goodbye darlin, so lets just leave it at ill see ya when i see ya" your swagger is too much for her, she faints from euphoria. You now stand, nude, raging boner, and lust in your eyes. The mercs take a step back. You pounce on the nearest one disarming him in one swift movement, and take him has a human shield, (your boner is poking him in the back, you dont notice but he does, he secretly likes it) you tell them if anyone follows you you will kill yourself then him, you lead him all the way down to the sewage pipes in the underground corridor. You find a convienently large rock and timing your strikes to thunder you strike the pipe as so to mask your sound. It burst and sewage poors everywhere, but your 100 yards of sewage climbing till being free, so you climb in that pipe, and shuffle your way through, silently sobbing the entire way. You come out the other end into a reservoir a free man but time is not your friend they will be onto you shortly. You hitchhike to south texas where you bribe some shady characters to take you across the border. Once in mexico you find a small town to live out the remainder of your days...playing sc2.
Now with that 60 dollars you just saved, buy a 12 pack a corona, a lawn chair and a pack of those affordable boxers, and enjoy
Some of my loots, plus all the others i just took snap shots of and text