The way other percieve you

This is a discussion on The way other percieve you within the Real Life Hacks board part of the General category; Now I know there has been a subject about how to get people to like you, or be more easy ...

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  1. #1
    Ryan's Avatar
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    The way other percieve you

    Now I know there has been a subject about how to get people to like you, or be more easy to talk to and stuff like that. There is also contradictory views about what people think of you. Well to put it simply, there is nothing you can do to change a thought process that has occurred. People in highschool that think they are "cool" because they, quote, "dont give a fuck," AKA "DGAF." However, sometimes you have to care unless you want to bring unnecessary consequences upon yourself. We're social creatures. Yes, humans are a species of animals and live in a social environment. While I understand the desire to just not give a fuck, it doesn't really seem a viable option honestly. There are, however, a lot of needless worries that can appear in thought. And it seems reasonable to say that examining thoughts and comparing them to the reality before you, or as a buddy of mine says, "Staying in the moment," is a good way to sort out what is fitting and what is not. After taking the time to examine your thoughts, you can begin to be much more specific in what sort of thoughts are working to help you, and what thoughts are hindering/hurting you.



    Lots of recent therapeutic techniques revolve around not automatically identifying with thoughts and taking them as representative of reality. And that's because thoughts are not an accurate representation of reality. Humans are prone to exaggeration and the creation of stories that are only very loosely based on something real. This is your brain using its imagination and creativity. For example, believing the thought that others are judging you even when there is very little or no evidence that this is the case, can cause unnecessary anxiety or stress. Checking the thought against evidence can help to bring things back in line with what is happening. You need to realize that what others think is entirely irrelevant to you (unless it's people you love and you're putting yourself in a dangerous situation or something.) It's all about what you think about yourself, and why you believe as you do.

    You need to be able to focus on yourself, and not others. Saying "fuck off" mentally to everybody will make you an asshole. This is why some people appear to be rude, or that they are blowing you off. Instead just believe in and listen to yourself...you really have no option but to do this, if you wanna make it in this world in one piece. Any projection you give to the thoughts of others, are coming from your own thoughts. To stop caring what others think, you first have to stop caring about what you think. To do this, you need to observe the thoughts dispassionately, and not think of them as "you." Realize that you are the observer of the thoughts primarily, and that the identity created by thoughts is transitory and illusionary - if thats a word.

    It takes mental discipline and perseverance to not let rejection or judgment "get to you." But if someone DOES judge you, especially without knowing you, it is important for you to recognize this as their ignorance of you, as opposed to let it define you. No one knows you better than yourself. The only reason people can not can't hold on to that feeling of "not caring" what others think is because somewhere deep down you still think it matters what they think. It's just like anything else that becomes truth in your mind. Once something becomes truth in your mind, then the rest of you will behave accordingly. Dont be judgmental of yourself, because that's the root of the problem.


    Quick lyrics that can go along with this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Immortal Technique
    But you make success, nobody delivers your fate
    Sometimes you give and you take
    Since prehistoric vertebrates, crawled out of the lakes
    And thats the truth about life
    more to do with the ghetto than your car, rims, and your ice
    'cuz even though we survived through the struggle that made us
    We still look at ourselves through the eyes of the people that hate us
    But ima make it regardless...


  2. #2
    Idbjorn is offline Advanced Hacker
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    Sometimes it might be good to listen to an opinion another person gives about you, but not on the internet, and not anybody random. Close groups of friends at best. The only people who can give you the clearest judgement of yourself will be your family, but even then you are who you want to be. It is very hard to get rid of that feeling of worrying about what others think of you. Time heals all wounds, something good to remember in any situation. People come and go, also constantly change. The older you get the more you realize how little importance other's opinions are.

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  4. #3
    Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Idbjorn View Post
    Sometimes it might be good to listen to an opinion another person gives about you, but not on the internet, and not anybody random. Close groups of friends at best. The only people who can give you the clearest judgement of yourself will be your family, but even then you are who you want to be. It is very hard to get rid of that feeling of worrying about what others think of you. Time heals all wounds, something good to remember in any situation. People come and go, also constantly change. The older you get the more you realize how little importance other's opinions are.
    I couldnt have said this better myself =)
    Thank you for adding onto my lecture about this topic hehe


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